Something I learned last Friday is that I might be allergic to goat milk. I haven't been tested or anything, but I had some goat cheese and here is what some of my skin looked like on day #2:

(That is a giant welty hive.) The rest of my body looked worse but is probably NSFW.

Then I spent the next five days stoned out of my head on benadryl and prednisone. Yes!

Over the weekend I developed something described as a blister on my left eyeball and wound up in the hospital for a little bit. It seems to be clearing up but I hope you all had a better time this weekend than I did.

Red wine may fight deafness - "Moderate consumption of the popular drink, or aspirin, could delay the onset of age-related deafness and reduce hearing loss caused by loud noise." I'm way ahead of you, science.

Analysis of Rate of Human Problems - getting mathematical on how messed up humans are. The stats are interesting too.

Saw the specialist today. He was all "you have tennis elbow" and I was all "but I've been treated for tennis elbow and nothing's working and furthermore I was having hand problems way before anyone said I had tennis elbow" and then I was pitted in a game of arm strength and dexterity versus him and I won (because I am fiercely competitive). I was told I have no nerve damage and my x-ray looks fine (though I could see in his eyes that he meant to say "F-I-N-E FINE" and howl like Steven Tyler of Aerosmith). So he suggested I friction treat my elbow (ie. rub it) and ice it and also do some weights to take the pressure off the something or others and then come back in March if it's not magically healed. Then I drank some fine discount Australian wine and started writing this paragraph. Personally I feel pretty let down about the appointment. This arm's been pissing me off for like a year and a half to two years now and these are all things I've tried before. I can't play keyboards, I can't play guitar for more than thirty minutes without pain++ and also I have to whine about it all the time and nobody likes a whiner I hear.

I picked up my elbow x-ray today to take to the specialist on Wednesday. Here is a picture of my totally nude elbow:

This elbow is (c) 1976-2004 brad, all rights completely reserved.

Because I am a living joke and wish to document it, here is what I'm going to see the doctor about tomorrow: 1. Sound in my right ear is still all wickedly muffled (fluid behind the eardrum)!

2. Awesome spells of sexy nausea (maybe a sinus infection)!

3. Ears also awesomely ringing constantly (no idea why! hopefully sinus infection related!)!!

4. To get the x-rays of my super destroyed right arm to take to the arthroscopic surgeon on Wednesday (maybe a detached tendon in my elbow!)!!!

And god only knows what other problems I will come down with before 2:30 tomorrow afternoon.

Thanks to everyone who dropped a line to say happy birthday, I appreciate it in my heart! I had a nice weekend drinking, eating Chinese food and watching 24 on DVD. It was more fun than maybe it sounds.

And now it is my birthday. I am 27.

Went to the Physiotherapist. Looks like at my worst I had both tennis elbow and golfer's elbow (the difference is whether the issue is on the inside or outside of the elbow). Cortisone cured the tennis elbow but the golfer's elbow is still happening. I was treated with ultrasound and electric stimulation today and now have a brace on my right arm to take the strain off the tendon when I use it. I also have stretches to do and I have to ice the arm often. All in all, it went pretty well and I am excited about the idea of being fully operational again. I will continue however to play no tennis or golf.

I begin physiotherapy for my arm next week on Tuesday and Thursday. I'm pretty jazzed to hopefully get this retarded arm juiced back up to full nerding and rocking capacity. I am also getting dangerously close to finishing the compilation of my music, which I will call 'my album'. I'll be glad when that's over with.